MODERN WARFARE!

EXACTLY!! as the title says. As we all know, I'm prego and comes with that is the super powers of the almighty nose. I have been blessed to have a "Curts" nose. Large, oddly protruding from my face with a hint of a ski slope at the bride. Now thats what you call a vivid picture.

So during my pregnancy, I've faired pretty well with smells, but my super powers are at an all time high. I swear I could sniff out a dirty diaper, sizzling steaks.... hey possibly a gas leak. The troubling part is it doesn't fare well with odors lately. Why know I ask my self.

As a farm wife..I have a dear sweet ole` farm boy. He's a super sweet, honest and generous guy, but don't let that underestimate the hidden dangers. With a farm boy comes...well pungent odors. He's been fighting pivots all summer, handling cattle and prepping for fall harvest. When he comes home, he's rugged, sweaty with cuts and bruises, dirt smeared everywhere, and smells.

Well as a normal married couple, I attempted to sleep in the same bed with him, hoping I could find some comfort in our new king bed. I'm not used to such a large bed, so I have to kid around and ask him how the weather is over there...quite the distance..lol

For my husband, I could swear he's been laced with a female weapon called "Hotflashes"...this kid is hot all the time. He could be hot like Jamaica while I'm freezing my footsies over in Antarctica. Well as ususal, the lovely ceiling fan becomes the highlight to put him to rest. BUT who would of thought that the ceiling fan is actually a lauging bomb waiting to attack any victim.

So there I am minding my own business, when ole cheezer decides to unmistakably "burp" in his panties. I know where all human and it's "NATURAL", but lets get scientific. Hot air rises, yes stay with me. Well as the hot stinky air rises who do you think it's going to meet with...ahhh ha, the ceiling fan.

With this ceiling fan, it's blades circulate air down in a sweeping motion towards me...KABOOM!! this ole lady just got bombed with the almighty grease sizzler. In return = instant pukage. I could of won the Olympic 3 meter race with my mad dashing skills. That smell sent me bowing down before the ole throne and loosing every ounce of my dear ole coconut pie. I was mad!! Why because our town finally is carrying famous pies from back home, and I had enjoyed every delightful morsal.

Well me being the dumb dumb attempted this feat 3 more times and meeting Sir flush alot too many times.. I GIVE UP...I'm sleeping in ole lazy boy and pouting.

What did we learn today....ceiling fans are modern warfare!!